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I
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I stand - a rose bereft of name
everyone knows a different me.
I've left my boyhood home behind
and journeyed far through shadows
Now I wander through the fog
the twilight of my life is gone
Heartbroken, aging, alone, I sing
I sing to myself
No one sings with me.
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I'm a panther in the evening still
alone, deep in bitter lonliness
I hold you in my thoughts
cherished with all my heart
Am I wrong that I should want a companion?
Someone to share my live's journeys?
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II
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At midnight I am awake
reliving the moment when we met
I reach out to you across the years
to stand there by your side
to learn the meaning again...
My tears flow together with yours
my heart knows all...
was there a forever then?
I ache silently for you
suddenly I look up
and there you are
a being soft and gentle
I strain with all my heart
to break the bonds of time
containing my emotions
love beyond speech or tears.
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III
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My heart generous
I open myself
and share my vulnerabilities
Eyes meet... thoughts meet...
but we... we never meet
as lovers do.
I hear a promise echo
in the night so deep
so profound
One lover to the other
a familiar voice from the old days
I cannot forever promise you more than I am
Unnoticed, forgotten
within the riddles of evening.
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IV
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Hear it? The answer whispers a violent truth
cutting the heart like moonlight in the wilderness
She said she would never leave...
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She moved three paces through the myst
with tears of love
I let her know
I reached for her and she lowered her eyes
both knowing what was said
Then the emotion stopped
stood quiet
and still
this long I pondered
until the thought was undeniable
I did not gaze upon a woman...
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V
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On my own again
the snow and Myst don't fool me now
You've retreated into the distance
mine and yet not mine.
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My spirit's friend
who was with me then
You can find shelter in my heart
when the fire just won't burn
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Another phantom dance with you
and somehow nothing was missing
no reason for restraint
no looking back now
freedom
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VI
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Nearly did loving you too much
put a strain on you
I come to understand in disbelief
as that knowledge hammers home
Mute, friendless, known only to God
and wrestling with a strained emotion
I feel the shards pricking my heart
the calling of lions...
and my heart remembers...
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Your readiness to listen
joining us together
with a cord of light
We knew the voices deep inside
the wonderful feelings...
Magical whispers in the night...
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You played Enya!
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VII
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Echoes of the past fill my mind
too much for my heart to bear
Allusions to forgotten conversations
float in from the dark recesses
of my mind
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My love isn't much, but while its there
you can have it
A voice, a promise from eternity
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I indulge my tortured heart
and wait
for the moment to pass
Only the other understands
the whisper of silent desire
within the calm of a winter storm.
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VIII
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Sleep sweet one, for dawn is in the sky
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I face myself in the mirror at dawn
alone with haunted eyes
empty
hiding from our sorrow
I long for your embrace
I am waiting for you
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The wind howls like a wolf
telling me not to resist
sometimes love isn't there if you do
and drowning my emotions
in its own sad call.
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IX
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The waves lick at my frozen toes
as I stand beside our pond
greeting the sadness of my heart
with forgetful purity
as my tear drops fall.
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